Kids Ear Piercings for Anxious Parents & Guardians

There are so many precious milestones adults get to witness as their children grow. There are also so, so many events that can foster anxiety. It doesn't matter if those woes started the moment two pink lines showed up, when your child started crawling and every household object became a new perceived threat, or that time a Lego ended up the nostril of a toddler who was very reluctant to just stay still. The older they get, the more those precious milestones and that unwavering anxiety seem to overlap, am I right?

Your child is three. Or maybe they're five, nine, or eleven. You saw this coming, or maybe you didn't, but either way, your kiddo hits you with the big news: they want their ears pierced.

You might be near my age, or you may be younger or older. The likelihood though, is that we got our ears pierced in similar conditions - a mall hallway, a jewelry store kiosk, a pediatricians office. It barely matters. There you sat with someone barely trained for what was about to happen, a piercing gun, and an under-prepared, nervous parent who was ready to hold you down. Want to know the difference between your parents and you, reader? You are reading this. And that already puts you lightyears ahead of our parents and guardians.

That means you're looking for information! You've likely read about how much safer single-use needle piercings are, what counts as quality jewelry, and how to look at portfolios. You know everything you need to as far as a studio's practices affecting safety goes. So why are you still nervous? Its likely because kids can be tiny emotional hostages of your heart who you've watched develop their own worries, quirks, needs and wishes. Some of you are dealing with your own set of experiences with kids powering through developmental or social disabilities. Every kid is so unique. Your worries are normal, valid, and respected here.

On our Kids page, we focus highly on childrens first earlobe piercings. We remind you that even though your child doesn't do this every day, we at Luna Piercing do! But we also recognize YOU are not doing this every day, either. And so today, while we have tips and tricks for anxious children, we also have tips and tricks for you.

We have to get this out of the way first. It's so boring. But the biggest tip we have - you can not forget to bring an original copy of your child's ID! Don't get turned away. We hate anyone leaving with disappointment, but this is a rule local ordinances don't let us budge on.

The best thing I can mention to you otherwise, is that if you have anxiety about your child getting pierced, we are more than happy to hear about it! Talk to us separate from your child over the phone or over the jewelry case as your budding young fashionista hangs out on our couch.

Okay, no more big paragraphs. Did you read that or skim that? The world loves bullet-points, so lets get into it.

Tips For The Anxious Parent or Guardian:

• Bring a cool-headed adult of your own. You know that one - the adultier adult who's calm and collected, and does a great job playing a supporting role. You're best off with someone your child also feels close with, and is comfortable being vulnerable around.

• Don't bring overbearing support cast. This is a milestone your child and you are experiencing together. An entire room full of people speaking over each other and at your child is not helpful to them, you, or our staff's ability to keep calm, safe control of the piercing room.

• Don't let your anxiety become your child's. Remember your fear of spiders? Remember your mom's fear of spiders? Children look to their support people to decide if a situation is safe. This is safe! We're prepared for you. This is why the first two points are very important to what an appointment can look like. Speaking of high stress guests...

• If siblings can't stay home, bring another set of hands. Discuss ahead of time what is expected of them. We're not a studio that expects perfect silence for our other guests; we are a family friendly piercing studio. But we do want your attention, and the one getting pierced needs your attention too!

• Read our reviews, and rely on our guidance. We leave room for questions, to talk about anxiety, and we talk through everything step-by-step at a level that keeps your child informed about everything they will experience. We take breaks for kids who need it, and we will let you both know how we're looking for time, if need be. That brings us to...

• Do not rush or "bully", even playfully. Arrive fully okay with the fact that an anxious child may leave without ear piercings. Do not take it as a personal failure. It happens, and is never a waste of our time. We see many kids once or twice before they decide they're really ready. They get to learn about bodily autonomy, and you get to learn what your child is capable of when they have final say.

• Let us know what YOU need. That's it! Need someone to hold YOUR hand? Need to be walked through the entire event before we step into the room? Signed, Sealed, Delivered. It's Yours.

Tips For The Anxious Child Of The Anxious Parent Or Guardian:

• Do not withhold information. Most anxiety comes from fear of the unknown, with children being no different. Promising them that it won't hurt isn't helpful - by the time they've had their first immunizations as sentient little humans, they do understand that needles will hurt to some degree. Letting them prepare for a "quick pinch" also keeps the piercing room safe for both your child and the piercers, reducing big reactions.

• Understand that fear is natural. Talk about it. What part makes them fearful? The answer is almost always pain. No child has gone without a scraped knee or stubbed toe. Remind them that piercings are so quick, it can be more shocking than anything.

• Use incentives for after. These don't have to be large gestures. FaceTiming grandma, dressing up and doing a little photo shoot with new earrings, family dinner where everyone gets to see are all incentives. In addition, they are incentives that by principal are only able to happen if they decide to go through with ear piercing. Every kid loves a promised Target run - but if they decide they're too scared for ear piercings, it can be a hard hit not leaving with new sparkles AND not going for a treat.

• Don't over distract. There is nothing worse than a child watching Bluey on a phone who isn't listening to anyone with no idea of what to expect. In addition to that, we at Luna Piercing will require consent - verbal or otherwise - from your child moments before we pierce them.

• Do distract tactfully! But distract the emotions. Bring a phone loaded up with their favorite music to play in the room, ask them who they want to show first, or talk about what earrings they'll wear when they're healed. Yoga breathing, hand squeezing, or talking about weekend plans are all fantastic. We also love a low-motion sensory toy.

• No stories. Your kid does not want to hear about ear (or other!) piercing stories from back in the day. If you or your support people have piercings, remind your nervous superstar that everyone has felt as nervous as they are, but that it was worth it! Talk of blood, pain, needles or piercing guns will buy you a one-way ticket out the door with no ear piercings, compliments of your child who did not need to hear about it.

• Positive reinforcement: "You should feel good because (you faced your fears/you made us listen to your wishes about your own body when you said no). You should hold still (so your ears are perfect)." Nervous parents often, unfortunately, bring nervous dialogue. There is nothing happening in our piercing room that has to be negative as long as everyone is safe and happy!

• Allow your piercer to guide. Nothing makes things harder for us than a parent telling their child to take a deep breath in and out for us before it's time. It creates false expectations of timing for your child, and rushes piercers holding needles who are not yet ready to pierce on that exhale. We promise to tell them everything, but two separate sets of instructions can be problematic and at the worst, dangerous.

Choosing a new look is a beautiful step in your child's self expression and confidence. With the right team and preparation, even the most anxious parent can be prepared for their kids first ear piercing. Visit us at Luna Piercing in Vernon, CT to make kids ear piercing a happy memory!

We want to hear from you! How did your first studio experience go? Are you currently preparing for an upcoming appointment? Share thoughts and questions in the comments below!

Laura, Luna Piercing and Fine Jewelry